Their Little Perfect World

Where in the world do I come from? I could not have come from this perfect system. I don't quite seem to fit in.
I would definitely give all of my worthless clothes to my sisters. They must've look even more beautiful in them.
Well, I regret all those times fighting with my little sister over this rotten teddy bear. I will just give it to her.
Oh! My precious-no-more laptop and the digital collections of mine! I will let my brother have them. He would like that.
My mother and father? They'll have the rests of the things that left. I don't need all of these anymore
There… they would be very happy now, wouldn't they?
Oh god! I forgot about my boyfriend! Well, sometimes I think that I don't deserve him. I bet he'll be happy too without me
I think I would give him back all the old, forgotten love letters and presents that he used to give me. He can also have my diary for sure. That is of course if he even wants it. Why would he even bother wanting to read a story about this sick-minded girl?
One final thing; perhaps I should write that down before I pull this trigger…

The Mirror

I'm supposed to be dead. Am I dead? But I'm still breathing now. What happened? I thought I had already slit my wrist that night. I'm sure that I've been gone for seconds. But why am I lying on this hospital bed right now? Do I want to live?

There, my boyfriend came through the door. I knew him. But do I? I killed myself for him isn't it? He hurt me even worse than when I hurt myself. Inside of me had already died before I'm gone. I'm breathing but dying inside. Why?

I'm home now; in the very room where I try to die, in front of that mirror, the white floor that was covered with blood before had been clean off. But in my mind, it still is stained with blood, my own blood...

He lay beside me now, asleep. I almost closed my eyes when I heard his voice calling me. I looked at him but he is sound asleep. I thought he called me. But then I heard that very same voice calling to me. It came from the mirror.

I get up and went to the mirror. From inside the mirror, the voice asked me, "Do you remember?"

And memories floated my mind... on the other side of the mirror, the girl slit her wrist while me from this side of the mirror is dying out of an uncured disease. I wanted to live so much that my spirit flown out and went through the mirror to that other world and entered her body so that I can live...

As he stretch out his hands for me through the mirror, I grabbed it and went back to my world with this different body. From here, I can see that the guy from the other side of the mirror is looking for me, looking for something that he had left broken before, looking for something that no longer exist...

My Three Best-Friends

My three best-friends will always be there for me…
Oh! What would I be without my three dear friends…
The first one will always be there for me to help me coping with the stress in my every pitiful day
The second one will always help to put me to sleep when I think too much and I could not close my eyes
And my last one was very quiet and static but it shines and reflects all the light that surrounds me. Oh! The only one who would end my sorrowful life and bring me happiness
Well now, without them I would never know how to live
But, I do believe that everything that live will certainly die
It'll be sad to leave them behind.
Oh! My precious anti-depressant pills, sleeping pills and my sharp knife,
You will always be here in my heart as my three best-friends….

Have A Moment With Me

Hey you there, do you have a moment to spare with me? I want to know if anyone out there ever feels the way I felt. It used to be small matters but now the urge is getting deeper.
Do you feel alone? Not alone as being left alone but alone when everyone is there for you but not really was there for you. Do you ever feel that? Do you ever wonder if they really love you?
What does it feel like to be so insignificant? So unneeded and unwanted? How deep was that pain?

Have you ever been misunderstood? You have good intentions, you just wanted to help. But they don't need you, they don't want you. Then why is it that you even exist?
Would you care to join me in this existence of nothing but merely loneliness? Deep inside so dark and cold… Alone…

Or would you want to end it?

That's a great idea! Don't you think? Let's end this… Yes, let us feel the sting of that sharp knife to our hands, those sweet sensations of pain, the beauty of the color the blood possess, the wondrous amount of it…

Nevertheless, it's still painful when I see their faces through the unseen dimension, why do they look so sad?