Light And Darkness

I always wanted to write a story about rains. It could be anything; things that happen in the rain or things that happen because of the rain. Whatever situations it might be, I only want people to remember this story that every time when it rains, they could imagine it and think of it.

Cold, unwelcome drops of water hit his face again. He didn't know what time it is but it's getting late. It was so dark out here. His people used to say that many bad things happen when it gets dark. The light is considered to be good and the dark is evil. If it is so, then why is it that God created both light and darkness? Nobody ever answered that question for him. But he has the answer.

He can feel now that his hands are shaking, the clothes are soaked with water. Rain wasn't on his side today. He used to like it when it rains. He kept on walking to meet the sight of his house. But before he could take another step forward, the house, his house, is no longer of what he could remember. Nothing was ever as before. Maybe they all have been away from here. His family wouldn't be here anymore. He was well aware of that. All that was left are memories.

Though the memories weren't as lively as it could ever be, he is still not so happy with what he is now….

Nonetheless, he has to accept the fact that he has to get away from there as soon as possible. The day is coming in. He needs to find shelter; no, not a shelter from the rain. And he couldn't afford to go inside his old house as a shelter for him from the light. His people were all wrong. No. it isn't the darkness that he's afraid of. God created both light and darkness because of life. And for him, the darkness was his source of life and the evil light will only kill him.

Have A Moment With Me

Hey you there, do you have a moment to spare with me? I want to know if anyone out there ever feels the way I felt. It used to be small matters but now the urge is getting deeper.
Do you feel alone? Not alone as being left alone but alone when everyone is there for you but not really was there for you. Do you ever feel that? Do you ever wonder if they really love you?
What does it feel like to be so insignificant? So unneeded and unwanted? How deep was that pain?

Have you ever been misunderstood? You have good intentions, you just wanted to help. But they don't need you, they don't want you. Then why is it that you even exist?
Would you care to join me in this existence of nothing but merely loneliness? Deep inside so dark and cold… Alone…

Or would you want to end it?

That's a great idea! Don't you think? Let's end this… Yes, let us feel the sting of that sharp knife to our hands, those sweet sensations of pain, the beauty of the color the blood possess, the wondrous amount of it…

Nevertheless, it's still painful when I see their faces through the unseen dimension, why do they look so sad?

My First And My Last True Love... (My Feelings Over The Death Of My Bf)

You've been gone for so long...
And yet, I still remember these...

i remember when we first met,
u always look at me,
and i always looked away...

i remember our first date,
u just sit there and watch me,
i did the same...

i remember our first kiss,
i start the kiss,
u broke the kiss...

i remember our first time,
i said 'no',
u insisted,
i cried,
u cried too...

i wish i could make that moment stay,
i wish i could turn back time...

now,
i remember our last time,
u never wanna stop,
i'm very mad at you that i leave...

i remember our last kiss,
u smells like cigarette, with that sweet scent of ur perfume,
i'm flying high and i tell you that that was the best kiss ever...

i remember our last date,
u went shopping with me even though u hated to do that before
u are so different that day
but i feel happy
i should've known better...

i remember the last time we met,
u just lie there on the bed, u're not moving, u're eyes closed,
i held ur hands, u held mine back.
it was warm and assuring, i remember how it felt until now...

u've been coma for three weeks...
and that was all...
u left me here alone...
u left me here wishing that i could turn back time
and make all of our last as our first again...

do u know that every night i'll sing songs for you?
and drop tears for you?
and laugh for you?
every night, i wish you were there...
i even cry when i wrote this...
coz u're never coming back to me...

do u know that even when i was with someone else,
i wish he was u?
do u know that i'll do anything to ever swicth place with u?
so that u're the one who will write this while crying remembering me...?
do u know how much i missed u? and loved u?

i will meet u again...
untill that day, i never had my heart open for anyone...
u're my first and my last true love...
i will wait until the day that i die,
so that i can see u again, my love...
i love you... ...

In Loving Memory of

Wan Mohd Hasraf b. Wan Ibrahim

(1985-2006)

God, Help Me!! (My Feelings Over The Death Of My Bf)

i can't let go...
i still can't let him go...
y do God took him away from me?
i miss him so bad...
i can't seem to find someone else...
it's like a curse,
i can't love somone else...
whenever i try to fall in love again,
it won't work out...
and when those relationship fails,
i remember him more...
i feel sad more than ever...
if only he's still around,
God, help me,
i'll do anything to go back to those time...
i miss him!!!
i want him!!!
life's lonely without him...
sometime before i sleep,
i think i can hear his voice...
his sweet simple voice....
i want to hear it all again...
i don't want to forget it...
it's fading away from my mind...
i don't want to forget...
the way he call my name,
the way he touch me,
the way he kiss me,
i miss him...

he said he would never leave me...
but y did he go?
y did God took him away from me?
bring him back to me...
he's the only one who can love me...
i don't remember what's it like to love anymore...
i know love makes you happy...
but when i go out with someone else,
i can only pretend to be happy...
i'm not happy!!!
bring him back to me...
i don't know what happiness is like anymore...
i only know how to cry at night...
i only know how to pretend...

i miss him...
God, help me...
if You can't bring him to me,
bring me to him...
i wanna die too...
i want him...
help me...

In Loving Memory of

Wan Mohd Hasraf b. Wan Ibrahim

(1985-2006)